Now I went and done it.... I'm on Joe Biden's email list now!

Dear Readers!

Apparently not only is Barrack sending me personal emails, but now so is Joe... AND this time he sent a video.

I feel like a new member of eHarmony.

I almost feel like Barrack and Joe are.... courting me.

Where oh where is McCain?

After all, I am a Registered Republican. Isn't that just like a man, they get that little piece of paper and they just take you for granted. They just expect you to wait around until they are good and ready to show you some attention.

... sigh.... meanwhile, I'm getting an email a day from those dreamy democrates... thank goodness Barrack and Joe don't know my twitter name, or my goodness, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. (I'm getting a little flustered)

Well, I'm no fool.

I didn't get where I am today and not learn a thing or two about men.

But I gotta tell you.... when I watched the Joe Biden video... I just wanted to lean forward and give him a big juicy kiss on the lips.

Good for you Barrack.... hhhmmmmm yummy Joe Biden.

Here's the clip. (gotta love you tube)





Oh my heart is a flutter.... You'd better watch out, McCain!

Sincerely,
Ms. Knowitall

P.S. Brad if you read this, nothing has changed. There will always room for you in my life when you decide that life with Angelina is just chaotic.

I Want Barack OBama's Mailing List

I just heard from my brother in law, whom I rely on for cyphering through the news catacombs to impart only the legitimate and truthful nuggets of information (I used to believe the associated press, then I found out they actually get some of their information from "E" the Entertainment channel.) So, I turned to my bro- in law and I queried...

"Bro in law", I said, "Why do I keep getting these emails from Barrack's camp for donations"

he replied.

"Hey did you know that he is matching if not exceeding the campaign funds raised by McCain?"

I looked at him, waiting for the real good stuff to come out, because so far... this wasn't very exciting.

He noticed

He added, "Yeah, John McCain's' camp is raising money with huge donations... and Barracks donations are $15.00 ea and he is getting MORE!" He noticed it was sinking in slowly so he looked at me and spoke slower... "Think about all the $15.00 dollar donations it would take to match a single million dollar donation... well Barrack is doing it!"

I got it. Through the alcohol induced fuzzz... I got it.

I turned to my computer. ( I had to shut down the iTunes, it kept confusing us, I mean me)
I checked my email... and sure enough, there was an email from the man himself, Barrack Obama, introducing his new running mate... Joe Biden.

The email was short and sweet, it basically said, "Hey.. here's Joe, why don't you take a minute to say hi"

I did

I clicked submit

And that page took me directly to a donation page, that gently but efficiently asked me to donate $15.00.

Why... $15.00 is only ....

a new school outfit for one of my three kids

or, 1/2 a piano lesson

or 1/3 of a 7 week course of swim lessons

or 1/4 of a 1/4 of a 1/2 a tank of gas

or no where near as much as any of my other bills... I'd hardly even miss it... and that's when the light went on......

That's when it all became clear to me.

The Barrack & Joe camp are going for the people that have lost all hope. The people that have nothing left to loose, the people that are willing to spend their last $15.00 for the week to try to get a black man in office before the end of the world.

Because that's what it is folks.

Please.

This isn't a race thing. It has nothing to do with race. But let's be honest. In the last very last history book published on the face of the earth before the thing going on between Georgia and Russia turns into a full on Nuclear War that we can't stop because we are recreating a country in the Mid-East where we thought they had weapons of mass destruction but we come to find it was just the whim of the King George that we go there and remake their culture..In that history book... who are we going to blame.

This is it.

Oh Man..... End of the world.

I thought we were all going to be able to escape to space before it came to this.... alas......

I wonder.

Just wonder.

Is it the Coffee or the Wheat... you decide

Is it the Coffee or the Wheat, you decide.

Recently my family has entered into the Gluten-Free HELL that is the place where people who suffer a myriad of seemingly incurable ailments are assigned. MY WHOLE FAMILY... yes, really we are all there to support one family member. ... that one person is worth it... but still.

The rest of us sneak around in the dark munching on a hidden and forbidden morsel of bread or cookie... banished forever from eating treats with wheat in the daylight!


.....sigh.....

Today, was the last straw.


I was holding in there, I was holding my own... then I started sneaking a "real" lunch at work. I figured no one would know. The kids wouldn't see me. It wasn't like I was the one that needed to be wheat free... I was just going along for the ride to support the effort.

Then... after the first time I cheated I noticed a strange thing occurred. My morning coffee (which was always an enjoyable experience) seemed to "open the flood gates" if you know what I mean. Now, I know people that actually USE their morning coffee for just such a purpose... but not me.

I didn't blame the coffee... I blamed the item I ate. (the homemade bear claw from the local bakery... ok, the 2 homemade bear claws) This particular ... eruption lasted ALL DAY LONG... intermittently, of course.

I laid off the Wheat products for a couple of days, but noticed .... a difference... in my, ah.... Constitution. Happily, the "difference" didn't last all day long...

Yesterday a co-worker made a run to Panera Bread. Ahhhhhhhhhh... They have a great Smokehouse Turkey Panini - Turkey, bacon, cheese, mustard... oh it is heaven on earth.


This morning.

Well, you guessed it. No problems, until that first sip of coffee.


Now you have to listen to me. I don't just drink one cup of coffee a day! I drink about a 10 cup pot, before I get to work. AND I have at least 2 more cups throughout the day. I LOVE my FOLGERS!

I'm freaking out here. I seem to be fine, until that first sip... OH for the love of everything HOLY... must I choose? Must I decide to actually GO WHEAT FREE... or.... dare I say this out loud... GIVE UP THE COFFEE? The elixir of life! Black Gold!

OH WOE IS ME.

Don't cry for me Argentina, I'll make it.

let's take a vote... how many people think I should
A) Quit the coffee
B) Go back to eating wheat product regularly
C) Quit Complaining?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Is it Office 2007 HEAVEN or HELL?

Of course your know the following is just my opinion... right.

Office 2007 is like heroine.

You get hooked

It becomes a Habit

Then it crashes

Yeah, I've been burned. I was a Office 2007 user. Now I'm in a program... It's a 12 step program... the first step is

RECREATING ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS THAT FOR SOME APPARENT REASON ARE NOW CORRUPT AND UNOPENABLE

Oh Yeah, I'm upset

I worked a sold 10 hours on the presentation material... and viola' gone.

THEN.... THEN..... The glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel is a taunting new Office 2007 feature called "open and repair". I have a moment where the cloud is lifted and the sun is shipping and the angelic cherubs are singing in acapella.... The Open and Repair function is easy to find... it's easy to use....

IT DOENSN'T FREAKING WORK!

screwed. I'm so screwed.

And so... I have to wonder... why would Microsoft have an "open and repair" feature so conveniently located by the "open" button in the open dialog box... why? BECAUSE THEY F'ING KNEW THEIR SOFTWARE WAS SCREWY!

And so in closing... I'm working through my anger. I'm working through recreating my files... and I have since changed my default file type to Office 97-2003, so I won't have any of those .docx problems anymore. I don't give a crap about losing the functionality... I'll just embed the f'ing fonts... and be done with the madness.

Anthrax Scientist Commits Suicide - Is Case Closed

The fact that the Justice Department would even consider closing a major investigation because the main suspect committed suicide begs the question: "Hasn't anyone on in Washington ever read ANY popular fiction?"

This is totally and completely out of washington crime novel.

Here's what's going to happen:

7 years later -- Our Hero, an ex-Delta Force Squandron Leader who is now a cannonized Catholic Priest hears a confession on death row that puts his life and the lives everyone he knows and loves in danger... because the anthrax thing, goes all the way to the top.

As the story unfoldes, the scientist didn't commit suicide, he was killed and it was staged to look like a suicide. It was the secretary of state and chief of staff that authorized the CIA to use the anthrax to kill a couple of loud opponents to a bill that would have flooded under cover ops worth with money. The anthrax was the brain storm of Lief Errickson, the chief operation officer and top man in the CIA who realized that they could fuel the fires of terrorism fear and remove opponents by blaming the anthrax on terrorism.

While the wrong scientist was under investigation, no one had anything to fear. When the Justice department started to uncover evidence against Hatfill, Errickson knew he would have to move.

The cover up would have worked if.... our hero, Sean O'Malley had just stayed out of it.

In the end, Sean is reunited with his estranged daughter, who he had long given up hope of ever seeing again after she entered into Jonasville cult, but he and his newly reassembled civilian Delta Force team save her from the clutches of the avenging CIA enemy, who snatch her from the organic farm on which she had been living.

Surviving the incident virtually unscathed, Sean thanks God and his buddies.

Is it so hard to imagine.... that the dude didn't commit suicide?

I mean really?

If you are prepared to send anthrax through the mail, knowing it will kill. AND having killed 5 people and sickened 17 other people... AND having sat by while your fellow scientist was investigated .... I mean what the heck.

The least. The VERY LEAST you could do, is wait to get arrested, and/or provide us with a nice long swan song to read... or perhaps a journal of your journey into... INSANITY!

OK. I'm over it.

Like I said, if ANYONE believes this guy committed suicide... you have GOT to be crazy!


--Ms Knowitall--

Is it still called a Vacation, if you aren't working?

Dear Opinionated One!
A colleague and I have been arguing over whether you can call a 10 day trip away from home with your girlfriend a vacation, if you aren't working. I am of the opinion that vacation is specific to a period of time that you are paid not to work... where as my friend maintains it is any time that is set aside to do someting out of the ordinary..
- We await your learned and scholarly opinion -

Angry Mike:
Get a job

Ms. Knowitall:
I went to Webster.com
Main Entry:
1. va·ca·tion
Pronunciation: \vā-ˈkā-shən, və-\ Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
Etymology: Middle English vacacioun, from Anglo-French vacacion, from Latin vacation-, vacatio freedom, exemption, from vacare
Date: 14th century
1: a respite or a time of respite from something : intermission
2 a: a scheduled period during which activity (as of a court or school) is suspended b: a period of exemption from work granted to an employee
3: a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation
4: an act or an instance of vacating

Prior to check with webster (who as we all know is just some guy making up definitions for words) I would have said, that a vacation is specifically a period of time away from work or ... something. (in my case, I could have used a couple more vacations from my X if you know what I mean) Anyway, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that although vacations are usually the luxury of the employed, I suppose a non-earner may be able to enjoy a vacation on the coat tails of another. OK OK before I get a lot of emails from pissed off house wives... I know I know, you guys work very hard. Cut it out now, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about your 32 year old son, that's living in your basement! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA

Lucille the Hair Dresser: Oh No Darlin, you have ta work to get a vacation. Some times you have to be employed for over a yearah before you get paid for that vacation. Otherwise, ... it's called sick days.

Irwin Google Geek: Well, I googled keywords Job and Vacation and I actually came up with a website that promotes a 2 - 3 day vacation doing your dream job. So, it's actually the opposite of everything everyone else said. .. hee hee.. I always find the opposite stuff, because it's out there. So, ah, if you go to http://www.vocationvacations.com/ you will actually see exactly what it says, vocation vacations.. hee hee I think I might do the acting one.. you know, maybe I will get one of the greats, like... ummm... Alex Baldwin or something. Oh Oh, what if I get Arnold Schwartenager, then it would be like a twofer... right! HA HA

-----------------------
Thank you for your question, I hope these opinions helped.
To submit questions go to http://www.getmyopiniononline.com/ or http://www.getmyo.com/ and click the "ask" link.
Thanks!
And I apologize for Irwin the Google Geek... he was really excited.

THE LATEST THING TO IRK ME.....

Good Morning my loyal readers (and disloyal readers that I force to read my blog by signing you up for a subscription)

This morning I am in quite a tizzy.

Yesterday morning I posted my upcoming book sale (aka garage sale of only books) on Craigslist and since it's more or less a garage sale, I placed my address in the listing.

BECAUSE.... how can I expect anyone to come to the garage sale if they don't know where it is...

well, don't you know... this pecker, called me on the phone (my phone number was NOT listed in the listing... not because I was remiss... but by design) and said, "I saw you are having a book sale this weekend can I ask you a couple of questions?"

I looked at the phone.

I wondered. Had early Alzheimer's finally taken hold? Had I placed my number in the ad even though I had clearly listed all of the details needed by an prospective attendees?.... did I put in my number?

I looked at the phone.

I said, "H-how did you get my number?"

He replied, "Oh, I just did a reverse lookup"

I looked at the phone.

Now, contrary to popular belief, I am quite an accommodating person and rather than give him a piece of my mind (which according to all of the psycho murder suspense movies I have seen, may just make matters worse), I answered his questions... which ranged from:

Questions that were clearly answered by reading the ad
to
Questions that were clearly answered by reading the ad

I got off the phone, and went to my Craigslist ad and promptly added: "Please do not reverse lookup my phone number, if you have any questions you may ask when you come to the book sale. "

I actually typed... and then removed "besides it's pretty creepy" I removed this primarily because I was afraid of pissing off any potential psycho murder freaks out there...

And so, I am irked.

Isn't that a shame. Simply terrible... that I can't have a garage sale and advertise it in a local free classified... because... THE FREAKS CAN FIND ME, AND CALL ME... USING REVERSE LOOKUP.

Anyway, I have thought and thought and thought... (you know when I woke up this morning at 3:00am worried that I heard something and that it might be a psycho freak trying to get to the books before the sale).... thankfully I have a vicious dog. A vicious dog who will be tethered to the fence snapping and snarling at all book sale comers. Hopefully any would-be psycho-path will not accept the challenge of the vicious gnawing jaws and will simply purchase his books and go reverse look-up someone else.

AND that... is the latest thing to irk me.

Ms. Knowitall

What is your opinions? I'd like to know. You can email me at opine@getmyo.com or visit my website www.getmyopiniononline.com