To Wear a Shirt or Not, That Is The Question

Question: My sister keeps telling me that a grown man walking around without a shirt on in the summer is not appropriate. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Opinions:
Angry Mike: You chopping wood, bucky? Or running a marathon or someting. Keep your shirt on, it aint hygenic.

Lucille the Hair Stylist: Well, my ex-husband just to walk around the house in his unda wear. He would watch TV on the couch in his tighty whities and if anyone came ova he would cova himself with a newspapa or something. It was pretty funny, but really gross when you think about it... the almost naked body all over the furnicha. So, I suppose, if you are all sweaty or something I would prefer you wore a t-shirt in my house, soz you weren't dripping all over my couches and stuff.

Mom Blogger: Actually it's better for your body if you wear clothes, here are a couple of resources I found on the internet to support that opinion, this one addresses... dressing for outdoor work: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B04E5D61E3CF93BA15755C0A96E958260
---and this excerpt taking from the bikers etiquette page: "Shirts
At the most basic, a cotton T-shirt shields passers-by from the alarming sight of your naked torso. We have always found pure cotton to be infinitely superior to polyester-cotton mixes: warmer in winter, as an undergarment, and cooler in summer."
---and finally, you will see a wide variety of opinions to this very question at this yahoo answer link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071207071055AA5UKH4&show=7 , where if you read to the bottom you will also find a link to a supportive google group who discusses "Men who go shirtless" http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Shirtless_Lifestyle/ please be advised this is marked as "adult content" and that my friend should say something about whether it is appropriate!

Sigmund Fraud: Vell... dis is a bery innnnnttterestink quvestion. If you dink dee only reason more people don't go shirtless, is because dey have flabby tummies..... you are wrong. Most people don't go shirtless because it is not appropriate. Dere is not a quvestion here. It does not help your body cool off on hot days to be shirtless. It is not pleasant to see. However, if it is a matter of freedom of movement or if you have a medical reason for requiring nakedness, then you must plan your life accordingly. Dere are communes, clubs and whole beaches dedicated to dat lifestyle.

Bill, 43 year old lawn boy: Well, I don't see the problem. I take my shirt off, and the ladies just love it. I see them peeking out their windows and the girls giggling as they ride their bikes by... I figure, if more people had a body like mine, more people would show it off. Besides I only have a couple of weeks a year to work on my savage tan.

Anonymous male opinion: Well, I like men without shirts. I like men with short shorts (I just read the previous blog entry about Men's Shorts... ) and if you put on ankle socks and stick a rainbow somewhere I'm sure you will find like minded people. Keep it up sweet cheeks.

Latest Poll Results:

You answered it.... You got it! The Top 10 answers to the latest poll (ok... the only 10 answers)

1. The dryer vent ducting needs to be cleaned. It is a fire hazard after all. – Submitted by Professor Kenmore

2. Work, unfortunately - Submitted by Ms. Martha Kittie Smith (nice to see you again )

3. too busy - Submitted by M Caulkins (amen sister)

4. I still have clean underwear to wear. - Submitted by Wim (this could be anyone)

5. Don't avoid doing the laundry - just a bad habbit of getting the damn stuff out of the dryer. - Submitted by Tie Died (interesting… )

6. I'm so tired during the week, I'll do laundry this weekend. Hey it's the weekend, nice and sunny out. Why do I have to sit home all day and do laundry? I'll do it during the week. – submitted by Ms. Fernadize Zackalooder (I never would have guessed it was you)

7. I am trying to recreate the mountain as seen in Close Encounters of a Third Kind – submitted by Mr. Norman Baytes (me)

8. I have enough underwear to last till tomorrow! - submitted by B the King

9. I'm tired – submitted by Mrs. Do Everything Go Nowhere (hhmmmm puzzled)

10. I have enough other clothes to wear and if I wash the dirty stuff I would have to dust the furniture under it – submitted by Mr. Thomas Jeferson (Very very funny… my sentiments exactly!)

Thanks... and stay tuned for my next poll.... it has to do with the length of mens shorts!

For fun and fantastic hilarity... check out my other blog at http://getmyo.blogspot.com

Shorts too long?

Question: When will the "length" trend for mens shorts, that are currently worn far below the knee, start to be worn above the knee?

Opinion:
Angry Mike: Hey Magnum PI, we do tings a little different ova hereya in da East Coast.

Free Willy: I need my shorts that long, if you know what I mean.

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Well Honey, I personally prefer a man with a longer style of shorts. Short Shorts are for little boys. Just like last summa I almost vomited all ova my girlfriend Mona at the beach, I didn't see da signs... but we must have been at Speedo beach or someting... cause there were little bags of "marbles" all ova if you know what I mean. So anyways, I think the more clothes you fellas put on, the betta you looks. Of course, the more cosmos I drink, the betta you looks too!

Sigmund Fraud: Dat quvestion has plagued humanity tru-out da centuries. Eet vill not be solved until da udder age old quvestion "boxers or briefs" is finally solved.

Love or Money

Question: Should I be looking for Love or Money

Opinions:
Angry Mike: If by love youse mean da bada-bing, den yeah, look for love. In fact, I got some love to spare, if youse got a minute or two.

Astrid a Pyschic Friend: I'm getting a feeling like...ummm... some kind of relationship in your past, a parent,a sibling, a neighbor or a significant other... and... I see the promise of both love and money in your future. Not great wealth, but more like a weekly income... and the love, wait a minute... it's strange.... the love is..... is.... furry. Do you have a cat?

Lucille the hairstylist: Money

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Money

Bill the 43 year old Lawn Boy: Love

Signmund Fraud: Eet is berry innnterestink dat you vould ask dat quvestion. I tink da quvestion should be, "Must I choose between Love or Money?"

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Invite or Not to Invite

Question: I'm having a party that is supposed to just be work people, but I want to invite a couple of neighbors and some family, just... not all nieghbors or all family. My boyfriend says I should either invite all or none.

Opinions:
That's a good question and I was feeling like it might be time for a poll anyway.... so here it is:

President Bush

OK.... Here's how I roll......

I see this headline: "Bush asks Congress to clear way for offshore oil drilling" and I think.... What the "F"?

Didn't he see Happy Feet?

Then I'm mad... and getting madder, because now I think... what now? What more damage can he possibly try to inflict on the planet before he leaves office... I keep picturing his stupid chuckle.... his ridiculous vocabulary and wonder if he really thinks we are that stupid. http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/18/bush.offshore/index.html?eref=rss_politics)

Now, let me pause here to tell you I was already mad at the man for the crap he pulled with the 8 US Attorneys (oh I am sickened... PLEASE don't try to tell me this doesn't go all the way to the top... the CIA was being investigated by one of the fired attorney's offices... PAAALLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEE) -(for a interesting timeline: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/usa-timeline.php of these events)

Anyway, so I'm all pissed at the Bush Administration... now honestly folks, this is the first time I've been really really ashamed to call myself a Republican... and with a tear in my eye... I long... I LONG... FOR ROSS PEROT! (who if memory serves me right he dropped out for among other reasons having had his family threatened ... and interestingly enough, there were very very very few articles coming up on google about that (I looked to refresh my memory) because the media laughed at him... then I found a "conspiracy theory" blog... that had more detail... but I digress)

So, I am pissed. Infuriated. Disappointed... then pissed again, because that J-off doesn't care what I or anyone else thinks... he's just going to live his life and "rule" the country in a way that's good for him and his buddies. Kind of like the bully in High School. You just have to wait until you graduate to find out what life is like without him.

So I'm a registered Republican. AND I'm Pissed at the republicans... I like John Edwards, I hate Hillary, Obama is ok... I'm a little queasy over McCain. I don't think he is his own man, I already see him lining up the party line. ... anyway, let me get back to the point. BACK TO THE POINT.

So, I'm pissed and went to try to find one of Bushes old speeches to see if I could find where he contradicted himself... and I found President Bushes.... Home Page

FRIENDS... I'm talking about The Presidential Home Page.

I take a gander... quickly passing by the things of which I know nothing (basically everything) then I find a link to "proclamations"

According to Webster a proclamation is: Something proclaimed; specifically : an official formal public announcement

I am expecting a lot of "Hear ye, Hear ye" and all that. You know... momentous speeches and proclamations....

Now I'm over being pissed about Bush....

Now I am entranced...

and I think.

I could do this. I could work from home, writing the government proclamations... because you know what? 98% of the proclamations have something to do with a hallmark holiday. I'd just get out my little hallmark calendar, and write up a nice 3 page proclamation about whatever holiday it is that day and post it to the website.

I'm not kidding... check out the page.
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/proclamations/

What do you think?

Does the Sun Revolve?

Question: Why does the sun revolve around the earth? - anonymous question

Opinions:
Ms. Knowitall: Well, I had to look that up... because as you know I truly believe that the sun revolves around me! Imagine my surprise to find out that there are a bunch of people that believe that the earth is rotating around the sun... and NOT the sun revolving around ME!

Well, some would have you think that the earth is actually going in a straight line, but gravity from the sun (or something amounting to gravity created by its huge mass) pulls the earth out of its trajectory and warps it into running an oval course.

This is all just a theory, although scientists can prove and document the actual course of the planets, they can not prove their theories... or disprove mine, which is ... all planets and stellar object revolve around me.

Angry Mike: Dats a trick question. It don't work like dat.

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: I don't believe in Revolution. I believe in God.

Garage Sales or Garbage?

Question: I can't decide if I should have a garage sale or if I should just put all the crap out to the curb.

Opinions:
Angry Mike: Chuck it. Tink about all the time to set up the sale, then youse got to sit out there 2 or 3 days waiting while some smo paws through your stuff, no way hosay, put it out to da curb and foget about it.

Lucille the Hair Stylist: I have a garage sale every year. It's a little known fact, but the best day for a sale is Friday. So you need to advertise. Go to Craigslist, and other Free classified services. Make sure you have a ton of garage sale signs with arrows and the days of the sales... and... sigh... price everything to go. It's a garage sale, not a boutique. Just because you paid $40.00 for the shirt, doesn't mean someone else will... You need to price the clothes under $5.00 and books under $1.00. Give discounts for multiple purchases and prepare to bargain, many people that come on Friday as "professional" garage sale people.

My Opinion: As you guys know, I do a lot of selling on eBay. The big difference between eBay and a garage sale is I don't have to waste a whole weekend sitting in my driveway in the hot summer sun waiting for "customers". However, I do have to keep the stuff in my house until it sells, if I list it on eBay... so it's a crap shoot.

In my opinion, if you want to just get rid of stuff, and you were inclined to throw it out anyway, just have a 2 day garage sale. Friday and Saturday. Whatever doesn't get sold, you can just put out to the curb. AND if you want it to go, Lucille is right, make sure you priced it to sell.

Bill the Lawn Boy: I disagree, I think you should price the stuff for what you think it's worth, because you won't get the amount unless you ask for it, then if someone shows an interest you can always come down on the price.

Lucille the Hair Stylest: Hi, it's me again, I forgot, the other very very important thing... is make sure there is a price on everything. That way, people know how much a thing costs and it may actually push them into buying it, if its reasonably priced! OH, and don't forget to go to the bank and get lots of change.

Who Thinks Thongs Are Comfortable?

Question: I have always wanted to know, and am glad that I finally have this forum.... Is there anyone on this planet that thinks THONGS are comfortable?

Opinions:
Angry Mike: Foist of all... tongs are not built for comfort, they are butt-crack decoration. It's what makes a plumber butt on a young lady look more allurin. I can't imagine that ting bein too comfy, but then I ain't gotta wear one.

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Well.... I tried one once, (because you know, I prefer o-natural, if you know what I mean) ...Yeah well anyways, I figured it would be a ...compromise. So, I gotta tell ya. I think I got rope boin. It was like walking around with a wedgie. I kept feelin like I need to pick it outta my butt. OH, I hated it. I suppose, if I wore one every day I might get caluses... maybe then it wouldn't hurt.

Local Gum Chewing, Thong Wearing Teenager: Yeah... (chew chew snap) everyone wears one, you get used to the wedgie feeling 'cause it's too cool and sexy. My boyfriend (chew chew snap) he keeps trying to play the strap like it's a guitar or something. (chew chew snap) It's like so annoying. But whatta ya gonna do? All the pants are so low that I have to either wear a thong or nothing at all, and like.. (chew chew snap) I'm not going to wear nothing.

Are there Aliens?

Question: Do Aliens, you know, Extraterrestrial Aliens exist?

Opinions:
Angry Mike: Damn Straight

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Oh Sure Honey, and some of dem have come inta my dina.

Sigmund Fraud: Bery Interesting, how vould you feeeeel if zay do exissst?

Random Dude Walking Dog: Ah OK, (laugh) yeah, sure I think they exist but not on any planet we are ever going to reach... or maybe they existed and are now extinct on the closer planets. I guess I don't think we are going to get too far out of our solar system. Yeah, ok... well have a nice morning.

Voice Mail Better than Real Person? You Decide

Question: Why can't I stop myself from chatting on peoples answering machines and voice mail as if I were talking to a real person?

Opinions:
Sigmund Fraud: Vell, it vould seem dat you have a deeply surrrrrrpresst need to hear yourself talk or perhaps your subconcious mind perceives da beep of de voice mail or anzering machine as a green flag dus allowing itself the luxury of freedom to tink.

Angry Mike: Get some friends! Maybe if you weren't such a kook, your friends would pick up the phone and answer da calls, ya FREAK! Youse know they are home, just waiting for you to STOP TALKING TO THEIR ANSWERING MACHINE!

Bernadette, the North Jersey Waitress: Aw Darlin, I knows what you mean. Don'tcha lissen to Angry Mike. I do somes of my best thinking while I'm talking on my girlfriends voice mail. Youse just reminded me, I need to give her a ring, I can't rememba the last time I actually spoke ta her.

Global Warming? .

Question: Why is it so f'ing hot?

Opinions:

Angry Mike: It's summer, you ignoramus.

Home Weatherman: First let me say it's a real treat to be asked this particular question especially since I was lampooned on a previous entry... but I guess it just goes to show how important people like me are in the big pic... cough... choking... get your hand.... off my throat... cough cough... gag..... (whisper whisper whisper) ... ah hemmmm ok, I'm back, and I agree that the weather should be left up to trained professionals. However, in my untrained and .... usually humble opinion, it is this hot due to global warming, which is caused by the greenhouse effect, which is a naturally occurring phenomena that keeps our planet warm and habitable. The man-made greenhouse affects may be adding to the greenhouse "blanket" and keeping too much infrared radiation in the atmosphere and that is heating up the planet more than usual. (psst watch Al Gore's Movie Trailer... it's got Dopler! http://www.climatecrisis.net/trailer/) cough cough So, that's my opinion.

Home Weatherman & Meteorologist

Dear Reader:

This is one of those entries, where my need to impart my opinion has overcome my patience to wait for the quesiton. I have, in fact, taken it upon myself to decide to opine a topic which I know many will realize, upon reflection, was worthy of my time.

I, like many of you, rely on www.weather.com or www.weatherbug.com to imbue their professional weather opinion. I, like many of you, believe (as much as any weather related forecast can be believed) what they tell me... with a rough, "can't-believe-the-weatherman" frame of mind.

What I can't stand. What I just can't abide.... is the person that .... goes from the 3 day forecast.... to the DOPLER RADAR, which shows a 30 minute stretch of storm front... and THEN THEY PROCEED TO EXTRAPOLATE THE AFFECTS ON OUR LOCAL WEATHER!

COME ON.... if the trained professionals, who provide me with the hour by hour forecast, aren't going to get it correct.... How the F ... (deep breath) ..... I mean... for the love of everything holy, the freaking websites let you put in your zip code! YOUR ZIP CODE!!!!!

In an effort to understand why someone would prefer to see the northern hemisphere and the various shades of swirling masses of color moving across the planet.... as opposed to a forecast specifically provided for your ZIP CODE.... I go to my "Making and Using your own Weather Station" book, by Beulah Tannenbaum and Harold E. Tannenbaum

(side note: as funny as those names are.... and as funny as it sounds that I have this book... I actually have this book and those are the actual authors names.)

I'm not going to read any of the book, I'm just going to look at the chapter headings and see if there is any clue as to what would drive... the Home Weatherman.

Chapter One: Weather around the World
Chapter Two: Air is Real
Chapter Three: Hot Air, Cold Air
Chapter Four: Moisture in the Air
Chapter Five: Winds and Clouds
Chapter Six: Storms
Chapter Seven: Recording and Predicting the Weather

Well I think that pretty much covers it... and explains it all.

In closing, I say to you Home Weatherman...., the 2 hour nice weather window between the isolated thunderstorms tomorrow that you anticipate based on your indepth analysis and tracking of the available dopler clips may or may not occur.... but right now, the sun is shining... so MOW THE LAWN TODAY!

And all that is just my opinion.

Work from Home Scam or Legitimate Job

Question: I have been checking out several work from home opportunities and I found a lot that want me to sign up and pay a fee to receive the list of jobs. Any ideas where I can find the best opportunities

Opinions:
Angry Mike: yeah, click here, send me $39.99 and I'll send ya a list... stupid.

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Aw honey, don'tcha know... if you have to spend money, it aint a real opportunity. Those people askin for the cash are the ones that will make the dough. My girlfriend is a Medical Transcriptionist and she makes about $11.00/hr working from home, but it's hard hard hard. Youse got to know the Doctor lingo and spell all the medical words right... it aint easy.

Sal the Copier Salesman: Start a porn site, ha ha just kidding, see that's my incredibly funny humor coming through, my customers love me. but seriously, if you have something that people want, or even if they don't want it, if you think they should want it, you just need to let them know you have it... then make sure they know they want it... then make them pay to get it. Like copiers.

Help with Rising Fuel Prices

Question: I heard that there was a program in NJ to help people pay the heating bill, is that true?

Opinions:
Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: You are right as rain, sweet'art. Go to http://www.njshares.org/ . I haven't been able to get there, but my friend told me that she applied and after a little while got notified that she qualified and they sent a nice little check to the fuel company on her behalf. You have to apply in person.

Bradgelina didn't have the twins?

Question: Where do I send the baby gifts for the Brad and Angela's new twins.

Opinions:
Angry Mike: News Flash, stupid, it was a hoax. The only thing sadder than you actually buying gifts for the supa mega stars new kiddies, is the fact that the associated press (the news service that we have relied upon for years to provide breaking news all over the world) would print something they picked up from E.T. and call it news. pisses me off.

What is Twitter?

Question: What is Twitter or better yet exactly what is the purpose of a Micro Blog? -signed Darrell

My Opinion: Twitter is yet another tool created by the under 27 year old work force, to waste time during working hours. Add this to your collection of "social networking" items.

or..... perhaps.... its.....

an insidious method for the government to track our every movement with us voluntarily providing them with the information of ... "what we are doing right now"

If I may go off on an opinionated tangent for a moment.....
Twitter may be an interesting tool for the CIA to use to track the activity of known terrorists... or perhaps the DEA to track the activity of known Drug Dealers and Drug Lords... here are the entries I envision:

Micki2fingers: Going to the docks to buy Vinnie new shoes

TonyBB: Leaving Vinnie's place now, he aint' home

LouLou: I got him meetcha at da docks

TonnyBB: where'd you pick him up?

LouLou: At the footlocker in the Short Hills Mall

Micki2fingers: from footlocker to davy jones locker LOL

What is the Matrix - My Opinion

Question: What is the Matrix? -signed More People then we want to know

Opinion: That's a good question.
I believe the word "Matrix" is derived from the word "May" which in the latin is a polite way to ask for something; and the word "trix" which in latin means, "fruit cereal with a silly rabbit".

Literally the Matrix means, "May I have the fruit cereal with the silly rabbit."

Today, (June 4, 2008) the meaning of the word Matrix looks more closely at the existence of the silly rabbit, the possibility of the silly rabbit's existence and our awareness of the silly rabbit.

I believe research into the shroud of Duran Duran supports this theory.

Beer or Tylenol - My Opinion

Question - What is better Beer or Tylenol? - Big Mike in Boise

Random Opinion from some guy at the Elk's Lodge - Both, of course and they must be rotated properly.

Automatic Notification

NOW, you can receive an email each time this blog is updated. Simply email opine@getmyo.com from the email address where you would like to get the email.... and we will do the rest!

Have Fun!

Sewer Worker Slaves in Sandals

Question1: "How can I keep between my toes clean while working in the sewer in my flipflops? I do have "cleaner" dog that does the job when I get home after a logn day in the shite. She can't wait to get his tongue in there to get the slime and sometimes juicy chunks. " - Submitted by Stu Pitt

Angry Mike Answers: Whydaya gat ta waste my time wit such a screw ballz question. Put on shoes stupid and give the dog some Alpo, you FREAK!

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress Answers: Honey, witch ya doin? Workin in the sewa with sandals... not even leatha. OH... honey, youse can't be serious. And about the dog, Dog's like ta lick, right? Your dog like toes, good for him... put some cheese in ther... or peanut butta... Hey that reminds me of this joke....

Bill the 43 year old Lawn Boy: Wow dude, your dog sounds awesome. Definitely let it hook you up with clean toes. If it likes it, go for it... and if you get clean feet... does it really matter how or why?

Go Ahead and Ask Away

This is where your question or statement will go... and my opinion will follow.