Now I went and done it.... I'm on Joe Biden's email list now!

Dear Readers!

Apparently not only is Barrack sending me personal emails, but now so is Joe... AND this time he sent a video.

I feel like a new member of eHarmony.

I almost feel like Barrack and Joe are.... courting me.

Where oh where is McCain?

After all, I am a Registered Republican. Isn't that just like a man, they get that little piece of paper and they just take you for granted. They just expect you to wait around until they are good and ready to show you some attention.

... sigh.... meanwhile, I'm getting an email a day from those dreamy democrates... thank goodness Barrack and Joe don't know my twitter name, or my goodness, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. (I'm getting a little flustered)

Well, I'm no fool.

I didn't get where I am today and not learn a thing or two about men.

But I gotta tell you.... when I watched the Joe Biden video... I just wanted to lean forward and give him a big juicy kiss on the lips.

Good for you Barrack.... hhhmmmmm yummy Joe Biden.

Here's the clip. (gotta love you tube)





Oh my heart is a flutter.... You'd better watch out, McCain!

Sincerely,
Ms. Knowitall

P.S. Brad if you read this, nothing has changed. There will always room for you in my life when you decide that life with Angelina is just chaotic.

I Want Barack OBama's Mailing List

I just heard from my brother in law, whom I rely on for cyphering through the news catacombs to impart only the legitimate and truthful nuggets of information (I used to believe the associated press, then I found out they actually get some of their information from "E" the Entertainment channel.) So, I turned to my bro- in law and I queried...

"Bro in law", I said, "Why do I keep getting these emails from Barrack's camp for donations"

he replied.

"Hey did you know that he is matching if not exceeding the campaign funds raised by McCain?"

I looked at him, waiting for the real good stuff to come out, because so far... this wasn't very exciting.

He noticed

He added, "Yeah, John McCain's' camp is raising money with huge donations... and Barracks donations are $15.00 ea and he is getting MORE!" He noticed it was sinking in slowly so he looked at me and spoke slower... "Think about all the $15.00 dollar donations it would take to match a single million dollar donation... well Barrack is doing it!"

I got it. Through the alcohol induced fuzzz... I got it.

I turned to my computer. ( I had to shut down the iTunes, it kept confusing us, I mean me)
I checked my email... and sure enough, there was an email from the man himself, Barrack Obama, introducing his new running mate... Joe Biden.

The email was short and sweet, it basically said, "Hey.. here's Joe, why don't you take a minute to say hi"

I did

I clicked submit

And that page took me directly to a donation page, that gently but efficiently asked me to donate $15.00.

Why... $15.00 is only ....

a new school outfit for one of my three kids

or, 1/2 a piano lesson

or 1/3 of a 7 week course of swim lessons

or 1/4 of a 1/4 of a 1/2 a tank of gas

or no where near as much as any of my other bills... I'd hardly even miss it... and that's when the light went on......

That's when it all became clear to me.

The Barrack & Joe camp are going for the people that have lost all hope. The people that have nothing left to loose, the people that are willing to spend their last $15.00 for the week to try to get a black man in office before the end of the world.

Because that's what it is folks.

Please.

This isn't a race thing. It has nothing to do with race. But let's be honest. In the last very last history book published on the face of the earth before the thing going on between Georgia and Russia turns into a full on Nuclear War that we can't stop because we are recreating a country in the Mid-East where we thought they had weapons of mass destruction but we come to find it was just the whim of the King George that we go there and remake their culture..In that history book... who are we going to blame.

This is it.

Oh Man..... End of the world.

I thought we were all going to be able to escape to space before it came to this.... alas......

I wonder.

Just wonder.

Is it the Coffee or the Wheat... you decide

Is it the Coffee or the Wheat, you decide.

Recently my family has entered into the Gluten-Free HELL that is the place where people who suffer a myriad of seemingly incurable ailments are assigned. MY WHOLE FAMILY... yes, really we are all there to support one family member. ... that one person is worth it... but still.

The rest of us sneak around in the dark munching on a hidden and forbidden morsel of bread or cookie... banished forever from eating treats with wheat in the daylight!


.....sigh.....

Today, was the last straw.


I was holding in there, I was holding my own... then I started sneaking a "real" lunch at work. I figured no one would know. The kids wouldn't see me. It wasn't like I was the one that needed to be wheat free... I was just going along for the ride to support the effort.

Then... after the first time I cheated I noticed a strange thing occurred. My morning coffee (which was always an enjoyable experience) seemed to "open the flood gates" if you know what I mean. Now, I know people that actually USE their morning coffee for just such a purpose... but not me.

I didn't blame the coffee... I blamed the item I ate. (the homemade bear claw from the local bakery... ok, the 2 homemade bear claws) This particular ... eruption lasted ALL DAY LONG... intermittently, of course.

I laid off the Wheat products for a couple of days, but noticed .... a difference... in my, ah.... Constitution. Happily, the "difference" didn't last all day long...

Yesterday a co-worker made a run to Panera Bread. Ahhhhhhhhhh... They have a great Smokehouse Turkey Panini - Turkey, bacon, cheese, mustard... oh it is heaven on earth.


This morning.

Well, you guessed it. No problems, until that first sip of coffee.


Now you have to listen to me. I don't just drink one cup of coffee a day! I drink about a 10 cup pot, before I get to work. AND I have at least 2 more cups throughout the day. I LOVE my FOLGERS!

I'm freaking out here. I seem to be fine, until that first sip... OH for the love of everything HOLY... must I choose? Must I decide to actually GO WHEAT FREE... or.... dare I say this out loud... GIVE UP THE COFFEE? The elixir of life! Black Gold!

OH WOE IS ME.

Don't cry for me Argentina, I'll make it.

let's take a vote... how many people think I should
A) Quit the coffee
B) Go back to eating wheat product regularly
C) Quit Complaining?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Is it Office 2007 HEAVEN or HELL?

Of course your know the following is just my opinion... right.

Office 2007 is like heroine.

You get hooked

It becomes a Habit

Then it crashes

Yeah, I've been burned. I was a Office 2007 user. Now I'm in a program... It's a 12 step program... the first step is

RECREATING ALL OF THE DOCUMENTS THAT FOR SOME APPARENT REASON ARE NOW CORRUPT AND UNOPENABLE

Oh Yeah, I'm upset

I worked a sold 10 hours on the presentation material... and viola' gone.

THEN.... THEN..... The glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel is a taunting new Office 2007 feature called "open and repair". I have a moment where the cloud is lifted and the sun is shipping and the angelic cherubs are singing in acapella.... The Open and Repair function is easy to find... it's easy to use....

IT DOENSN'T FREAKING WORK!

screwed. I'm so screwed.

And so... I have to wonder... why would Microsoft have an "open and repair" feature so conveniently located by the "open" button in the open dialog box... why? BECAUSE THEY F'ING KNEW THEIR SOFTWARE WAS SCREWY!

And so in closing... I'm working through my anger. I'm working through recreating my files... and I have since changed my default file type to Office 97-2003, so I won't have any of those .docx problems anymore. I don't give a crap about losing the functionality... I'll just embed the f'ing fonts... and be done with the madness.

Anthrax Scientist Commits Suicide - Is Case Closed

The fact that the Justice Department would even consider closing a major investigation because the main suspect committed suicide begs the question: "Hasn't anyone on in Washington ever read ANY popular fiction?"

This is totally and completely out of washington crime novel.

Here's what's going to happen:

7 years later -- Our Hero, an ex-Delta Force Squandron Leader who is now a cannonized Catholic Priest hears a confession on death row that puts his life and the lives everyone he knows and loves in danger... because the anthrax thing, goes all the way to the top.

As the story unfoldes, the scientist didn't commit suicide, he was killed and it was staged to look like a suicide. It was the secretary of state and chief of staff that authorized the CIA to use the anthrax to kill a couple of loud opponents to a bill that would have flooded under cover ops worth with money. The anthrax was the brain storm of Lief Errickson, the chief operation officer and top man in the CIA who realized that they could fuel the fires of terrorism fear and remove opponents by blaming the anthrax on terrorism.

While the wrong scientist was under investigation, no one had anything to fear. When the Justice department started to uncover evidence against Hatfill, Errickson knew he would have to move.

The cover up would have worked if.... our hero, Sean O'Malley had just stayed out of it.

In the end, Sean is reunited with his estranged daughter, who he had long given up hope of ever seeing again after she entered into Jonasville cult, but he and his newly reassembled civilian Delta Force team save her from the clutches of the avenging CIA enemy, who snatch her from the organic farm on which she had been living.

Surviving the incident virtually unscathed, Sean thanks God and his buddies.

Is it so hard to imagine.... that the dude didn't commit suicide?

I mean really?

If you are prepared to send anthrax through the mail, knowing it will kill. AND having killed 5 people and sickened 17 other people... AND having sat by while your fellow scientist was investigated .... I mean what the heck.

The least. The VERY LEAST you could do, is wait to get arrested, and/or provide us with a nice long swan song to read... or perhaps a journal of your journey into... INSANITY!

OK. I'm over it.

Like I said, if ANYONE believes this guy committed suicide... you have GOT to be crazy!


--Ms Knowitall--

Is it still called a Vacation, if you aren't working?

Dear Opinionated One!
A colleague and I have been arguing over whether you can call a 10 day trip away from home with your girlfriend a vacation, if you aren't working. I am of the opinion that vacation is specific to a period of time that you are paid not to work... where as my friend maintains it is any time that is set aside to do someting out of the ordinary..
- We await your learned and scholarly opinion -

Angry Mike:
Get a job

Ms. Knowitall:
I went to Webster.com
Main Entry:
1. va·ca·tion
Pronunciation: \vā-ˈkā-shən, və-\ Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
Etymology: Middle English vacacioun, from Anglo-French vacacion, from Latin vacation-, vacatio freedom, exemption, from vacare
Date: 14th century
1: a respite or a time of respite from something : intermission
2 a: a scheduled period during which activity (as of a court or school) is suspended b: a period of exemption from work granted to an employee
3: a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation
4: an act or an instance of vacating

Prior to check with webster (who as we all know is just some guy making up definitions for words) I would have said, that a vacation is specifically a period of time away from work or ... something. (in my case, I could have used a couple more vacations from my X if you know what I mean) Anyway, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that although vacations are usually the luxury of the employed, I suppose a non-earner may be able to enjoy a vacation on the coat tails of another. OK OK before I get a lot of emails from pissed off house wives... I know I know, you guys work very hard. Cut it out now, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about your 32 year old son, that's living in your basement! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA

Lucille the Hair Dresser: Oh No Darlin, you have ta work to get a vacation. Some times you have to be employed for over a yearah before you get paid for that vacation. Otherwise, ... it's called sick days.

Irwin Google Geek: Well, I googled keywords Job and Vacation and I actually came up with a website that promotes a 2 - 3 day vacation doing your dream job. So, it's actually the opposite of everything everyone else said. .. hee hee.. I always find the opposite stuff, because it's out there. So, ah, if you go to http://www.vocationvacations.com/ you will actually see exactly what it says, vocation vacations.. hee hee I think I might do the acting one.. you know, maybe I will get one of the greats, like... ummm... Alex Baldwin or something. Oh Oh, what if I get Arnold Schwartenager, then it would be like a twofer... right! HA HA

-----------------------
Thank you for your question, I hope these opinions helped.
To submit questions go to http://www.getmyopiniononline.com/ or http://www.getmyo.com/ and click the "ask" link.
Thanks!
And I apologize for Irwin the Google Geek... he was really excited.

THE LATEST THING TO IRK ME.....

Good Morning my loyal readers (and disloyal readers that I force to read my blog by signing you up for a subscription)

This morning I am in quite a tizzy.

Yesterday morning I posted my upcoming book sale (aka garage sale of only books) on Craigslist and since it's more or less a garage sale, I placed my address in the listing.

BECAUSE.... how can I expect anyone to come to the garage sale if they don't know where it is...

well, don't you know... this pecker, called me on the phone (my phone number was NOT listed in the listing... not because I was remiss... but by design) and said, "I saw you are having a book sale this weekend can I ask you a couple of questions?"

I looked at the phone.

I wondered. Had early Alzheimer's finally taken hold? Had I placed my number in the ad even though I had clearly listed all of the details needed by an prospective attendees?.... did I put in my number?

I looked at the phone.

I said, "H-how did you get my number?"

He replied, "Oh, I just did a reverse lookup"

I looked at the phone.

Now, contrary to popular belief, I am quite an accommodating person and rather than give him a piece of my mind (which according to all of the psycho murder suspense movies I have seen, may just make matters worse), I answered his questions... which ranged from:

Questions that were clearly answered by reading the ad
to
Questions that were clearly answered by reading the ad

I got off the phone, and went to my Craigslist ad and promptly added: "Please do not reverse lookup my phone number, if you have any questions you may ask when you come to the book sale. "

I actually typed... and then removed "besides it's pretty creepy" I removed this primarily because I was afraid of pissing off any potential psycho murder freaks out there...

And so, I am irked.

Isn't that a shame. Simply terrible... that I can't have a garage sale and advertise it in a local free classified... because... THE FREAKS CAN FIND ME, AND CALL ME... USING REVERSE LOOKUP.

Anyway, I have thought and thought and thought... (you know when I woke up this morning at 3:00am worried that I heard something and that it might be a psycho freak trying to get to the books before the sale).... thankfully I have a vicious dog. A vicious dog who will be tethered to the fence snapping and snarling at all book sale comers. Hopefully any would-be psycho-path will not accept the challenge of the vicious gnawing jaws and will simply purchase his books and go reverse look-up someone else.

AND that... is the latest thing to irk me.

Ms. Knowitall

What is your opinions? I'd like to know. You can email me at opine@getmyo.com or visit my website www.getmyopiniononline.com

Top 5 Signs You're in a Dead End Job

Question:
Oh Opinious One: I feel like I'm in a dead end job. What are the top 5 signs it's time to look for another job?
Signed: Stuck in the Muck

Opinion:
Ms Knowitall: I'll check around but here's my opinion
#1) You feel like you are in a dead end job
#2) You look around and realize that most of the people who have worked for the company as long as you..... are losers in a dead end job.
#3) The new hires are temporary and are mostly either college or high school students AND your boss immediately implements several ideas from one or more of the "students" and they are similar to ideas you have been trying to get implemented for months
#4) Your boss had some excuse for not promoting or issuing you a raise at least twice in the last 2 years.
#5) They have hired you an "assistant" that is pretty and perky and knows 1/2 as much as you about the job but you suspect is getting paid almost as much as you. (P.S. The Assistant is your only explanation for the unexplainable leaks of information that you boss seems to find out, but you can't prove it. )

Angry Mike:
Why Work?

Sigmund Fraud

Number 1. You vill not feel challenged or fullfilled but vill decide it is better den rocking da boat.

Number 2. You vill rationalize your misery and may possibly come to tink you deserve no better
Number 3. You vill daydream about vhat you'd really like to do with your life and it is da complete opposite of your current situation.

Lucille The Hair Stylist
Well, I used to work in a dead end job. Working in an office 9-5, pushing papers, answering phones, dealing with the office politics, who's dating who, who's chatting on the phone instead of working, oh and dealing with the customers. Oh, those customers.... I'm so glad I changed careers.
Rita the customer in Lucille's chair: Lucille, when was you an office worka?
Lucille: Oh you know Rita, before I came ta the beauty parla
Rita: Lucille, that must have been atleast 15 years ago
Lucille: Well, yeah, right after highschool, about 25 years ago
Rita: oh, how long did youse work in a office?
Lucille: 1 week, and dat was long enough for me!


Lady walking big German Shepard:
I read somewhere that if there is a change in management or something and all of a sudden you are no longer invited into the meetings about your clients, or something like that, then you should start looking for a new job.

Two Ladies Walking around the Lake:
Lady #1) Oh, If you hate your job. You know, dread getting out of bed and the weekend isn't long enough because you waste Sunday worrying about going to work on Monday, that's terrible. I had a job like that, thank goodness I met Mike.
Lady #2) I had a job where people kept quiting and the company never replaced them. So everyone had to pick up the slack, that was terrible. (pause) Hey, who is Mike? I thought your husbands name was Joe?

Young Couple with Infant:
That's easy, you can't stand going to work. You don't feel like you are appreciated and you can't stand getting up in the morning to go to work.

Random Answers:
You hate your job
You hate your co-workers
You can't stand talking to clients or customers
You haven't had a raise in several years
Someone else keeps getting the praise that you think you deserve
You wake up one morning and find that you are one of the oldest people in the office
Everyone got a generous holiday bonus and you got a walmart gift card
You walk into the break room and everyone stops talking
You notice new people visiting with the boss behind closed doors, almost as if they are candidates on interview... which they probably are
You happen to check the classifieds and see your company has a job opportunity whose description closely matches your job responsibilities
You keep getting assigned as secondary contact for clients, however you do all the work, but the primary contact gets all the credit.

One More Opinion:
Work is like High School. There are clicks (or social circles) and "teachers" pets. Each level of employment has it's own social circles and favoritism. Some industries are more competitive then others and have caps to the levels of achievement allowed. Each person has to decide their own path to happiness. It is never too late to dream. It is never too late to figure out if there is a better path to the destination you have mapped out for yourself. I'm not saying it will be easy, I'm just saying it's never to late to dream, plan............ try

Heading Down the Opine Highway

Just read the Headline: Bush signs new rules on government wiretapping
(First I checked to make sure it wasn't written by an AP staff member based on something they gleaned from the latest ET episode) with my interest peeked, I continued past the headline (which is unusual for me) and read into the first paragraph.

I didn't really make it past the first 2 paragraphs. That's right, I read 43 words and couldn't take it.

In a nutshell... The BIG NEWS is that BUSH signed new rules on government wiretapping... that "grants immunity to telecommunications companies that helped the U.S. spy on Americans in suspected terrorism cases" Wowie Kazowie Mr. President, that sure is nice of you.

OK, spurred on by my reevaluation of ... myself, I forced myself to continue reading. Here are the facts that I gleaned from this article

#1) The democrats have been pondering the "warrantless wiretapping" since 9/11 and it only got passed because they didn't want to see "weak" against terrorists.

#2) President Bush is a Lame Duck, that is able to get most anything he wants from the democratic congress.

There's more... oh there's more, but I just can' t take it.

SO..... a hem..... I'd like to ask you a question.

If you could "create" a candidate. If you could put together the perfect candidate.. seriously, what would he/she be? What would he/she look like, what would he/she do differently when campaigning and what would he/she do differently when running the country... got that?

Well, it's your turn to write.

Phone Taping and you... Perfect Together

Good Morning Friends.... In the wake of a couple of questionless days and the dawn of the vote by the senate to allow warrantless wire tapping.... Let's take a look at what the top google searches provide about this topic.

Here are some interesting articles I happened across on this topic.

http://www.democracynow.org/2008/7/7/att_t_whistleblower_urges_against_immunity

http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/2006/05/federal_source_.html

http://www.spy-equipment-buying-guide.com/cell-phone-tap.html





http://famguardian.org/Subjects/PropertyPrivacy/Privacy/PhoneTapCheck.htm

and finally... How Bush is using Phone Tapping to trap Obama

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgS3Y9TCjZM

All really good stuff.... Now my opinion.

I have no problem with phone tapping... per se. Probably because I haven't done anything wrong... or perhaps because I trust the fact that the things that I do wrong of no national, regional or local consequence. By the same token... I think the problem with phone tapping is NOT that someone is listening... it's WHO is listening.

My experience with government employees is... they are small minded stupid people with a little power that they like to wield like a samurai sword ready to chop off your head. So, I can't imagine that the people with the real power are much different. Probably a little more educated, perhaps a little more worldly... still drunk with the power over other people. (not unlike our King Bush.... sigh.... oh my dear republicans, what have you become)

Anyway, here's what I think. If we are going to be instituting wire taps, cell phone taps, aerial surveillance... and no one is left "unwatched", then what the heck... Put it on the reality network. I would LOVE to see what the guys on top are doing, and what they discuss on the phone. I'd LOVE to just go to a website and listen in on Bush's conversations today.

I'd love LOVE LOVE to be privy to what the leaders of my country are doing with my tax dollars. I would have paid good money for a listen in on McGreevy's conversations... or Spitzer... oh that would be great!

Like I said, I have nothing to hide. Nothing... and they... as our leaders... should be even MORE over board with NOTHING TO HIDE, right?

Whatta ya say? If they can listen to us... why can't we listen to them? Matters of national security? PPAAAALLLEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE I think it's a matter of the PR guy oh, I'm sorry, it's not considered PR, it's the Press Agent... right? The Spin Jockey. I think it would be a PR nightmare for Bush.. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA He might have to just stop talking all together.

I would be interested in hearing and .. oh yeah... reading the emails from ALL of the whitehouse staff.

Let's set some parameters. OK. I have no problem not having access to the information about agents in the field. But honestly... SHAME ON YOU CIA, if I can even tell what you are talking about. I MEAN REALLY... If I an listen in to a CIA operative conversation and actually glean any details... you need to go back to Spy School!

Well... I am pretty confident that after this blog entry I there may be a slight delay in future entries and my emails as they are rerouted and placed in the "orange" folder! HA HA yeah, it's all laughs and giggles today... and tomorrow when we all receive our government issue clothes and a nice Abercrombie pull-over becomes a sight of the past....

SOYLENT GREEN.... IT'S MADE OUT OF PEOPLE!

The Parking Spot Caper

Question:
There is a paid summer intern working in my office building who continually parks in my parking spot. Although the spots are not designated, I've been parking in that spot for four years. I've casually mentioned to the intern, 4 or 5 times, that they are parking in my spot, but to no avail. Do you have an opinion on what my next course of action should be? I look forward to your opinion !!! - Signed Peeved Parker


Random Opinions of People off the Street:

Dude with short hair and skater/shredder type clothes: "So, like its not really your spot right. And there aren't any assigned spots right? So, look for a better spot and snag it. Leave a little early, and get a better spot. Survival of the fittest."

Woman in office attire, high heels, big hair getting into her car with a handbag the size of the empire state building: "What? I don't see no sign with you name on it. What are you tawking about, this is your spot.... huh?.... what the F... is a blog? Are you taping me? ARE YOU TAPING ME? Gimme that tape. gimme... you mutha f....er... get back here"

Woman walking her dog. "Well, technically since there isn't assigned parking, you are limited to what you can do, I would try to get to work before the intern."

Executive looking gentleman entering a limo. "Get a movable Handicap standing sign. Keep it in your trunk. Put it in the parking spot when you have to leave and in your trunk when you want to park. "

Angry Mike: I had that problem once, here's what I did.... Park as far as you can from the front door. Turn it inta a new trend... you know, a health nut thing. Pretty soon, the intern 'al be the only one parking nice and close to the building. And people'll be wodering whats wrong with him. Den.... Den... when everyone is parkin' a mile away, you pretend ta wrench your back, see. Youse gotta park close now. Every one'al be bringin stuff to ya... like you an invalid or someting.

Lucille the Hair Stylist: Wasn't that a Seinfeld Episode
Woman in Lucille's chair: No Lu, that was an episode on that English show... what's it called...
Lucille the Hair Stylist: No, Rose, I'm sure-wa it is Seinfeld, and it had Kramma in it
Woman in lucille's chair: what eva, I still think it was someting else

To Wear a Shirt or Not, That Is The Question

Question: My sister keeps telling me that a grown man walking around without a shirt on in the summer is not appropriate. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Opinions:
Angry Mike: You chopping wood, bucky? Or running a marathon or someting. Keep your shirt on, it aint hygenic.

Lucille the Hair Stylist: Well, my ex-husband just to walk around the house in his unda wear. He would watch TV on the couch in his tighty whities and if anyone came ova he would cova himself with a newspapa or something. It was pretty funny, but really gross when you think about it... the almost naked body all over the furnicha. So, I suppose, if you are all sweaty or something I would prefer you wore a t-shirt in my house, soz you weren't dripping all over my couches and stuff.

Mom Blogger: Actually it's better for your body if you wear clothes, here are a couple of resources I found on the internet to support that opinion, this one addresses... dressing for outdoor work: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B04E5D61E3CF93BA15755C0A96E958260
---and this excerpt taking from the bikers etiquette page: "Shirts
At the most basic, a cotton T-shirt shields passers-by from the alarming sight of your naked torso. We have always found pure cotton to be infinitely superior to polyester-cotton mixes: warmer in winter, as an undergarment, and cooler in summer."
---and finally, you will see a wide variety of opinions to this very question at this yahoo answer link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071207071055AA5UKH4&show=7 , where if you read to the bottom you will also find a link to a supportive google group who discusses "Men who go shirtless" http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Shirtless_Lifestyle/ please be advised this is marked as "adult content" and that my friend should say something about whether it is appropriate!

Sigmund Fraud: Vell... dis is a bery innnnnttterestink quvestion. If you dink dee only reason more people don't go shirtless, is because dey have flabby tummies..... you are wrong. Most people don't go shirtless because it is not appropriate. Dere is not a quvestion here. It does not help your body cool off on hot days to be shirtless. It is not pleasant to see. However, if it is a matter of freedom of movement or if you have a medical reason for requiring nakedness, then you must plan your life accordingly. Dere are communes, clubs and whole beaches dedicated to dat lifestyle.

Bill, 43 year old lawn boy: Well, I don't see the problem. I take my shirt off, and the ladies just love it. I see them peeking out their windows and the girls giggling as they ride their bikes by... I figure, if more people had a body like mine, more people would show it off. Besides I only have a couple of weeks a year to work on my savage tan.

Anonymous male opinion: Well, I like men without shirts. I like men with short shorts (I just read the previous blog entry about Men's Shorts... ) and if you put on ankle socks and stick a rainbow somewhere I'm sure you will find like minded people. Keep it up sweet cheeks.

Latest Poll Results:

You answered it.... You got it! The Top 10 answers to the latest poll (ok... the only 10 answers)

1. The dryer vent ducting needs to be cleaned. It is a fire hazard after all. – Submitted by Professor Kenmore

2. Work, unfortunately - Submitted by Ms. Martha Kittie Smith (nice to see you again )

3. too busy - Submitted by M Caulkins (amen sister)

4. I still have clean underwear to wear. - Submitted by Wim (this could be anyone)

5. Don't avoid doing the laundry - just a bad habbit of getting the damn stuff out of the dryer. - Submitted by Tie Died (interesting… )

6. I'm so tired during the week, I'll do laundry this weekend. Hey it's the weekend, nice and sunny out. Why do I have to sit home all day and do laundry? I'll do it during the week. – submitted by Ms. Fernadize Zackalooder (I never would have guessed it was you)

7. I am trying to recreate the mountain as seen in Close Encounters of a Third Kind – submitted by Mr. Norman Baytes (me)

8. I have enough underwear to last till tomorrow! - submitted by B the King

9. I'm tired – submitted by Mrs. Do Everything Go Nowhere (hhmmmm puzzled)

10. I have enough other clothes to wear and if I wash the dirty stuff I would have to dust the furniture under it – submitted by Mr. Thomas Jeferson (Very very funny… my sentiments exactly!)

Thanks... and stay tuned for my next poll.... it has to do with the length of mens shorts!

For fun and fantastic hilarity... check out my other blog at http://getmyo.blogspot.com

Shorts too long?

Question: When will the "length" trend for mens shorts, that are currently worn far below the knee, start to be worn above the knee?

Opinion:
Angry Mike: Hey Magnum PI, we do tings a little different ova hereya in da East Coast.

Free Willy: I need my shorts that long, if you know what I mean.

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Well Honey, I personally prefer a man with a longer style of shorts. Short Shorts are for little boys. Just like last summa I almost vomited all ova my girlfriend Mona at the beach, I didn't see da signs... but we must have been at Speedo beach or someting... cause there were little bags of "marbles" all ova if you know what I mean. So anyways, I think the more clothes you fellas put on, the betta you looks. Of course, the more cosmos I drink, the betta you looks too!

Sigmund Fraud: Dat quvestion has plagued humanity tru-out da centuries. Eet vill not be solved until da udder age old quvestion "boxers or briefs" is finally solved.

Love or Money

Question: Should I be looking for Love or Money

Opinions:
Angry Mike: If by love youse mean da bada-bing, den yeah, look for love. In fact, I got some love to spare, if youse got a minute or two.

Astrid a Pyschic Friend: I'm getting a feeling like...ummm... some kind of relationship in your past, a parent,a sibling, a neighbor or a significant other... and... I see the promise of both love and money in your future. Not great wealth, but more like a weekly income... and the love, wait a minute... it's strange.... the love is..... is.... furry. Do you have a cat?

Lucille the hairstylist: Money

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Money

Bill the 43 year old Lawn Boy: Love

Signmund Fraud: Eet is berry innnterestink dat you vould ask dat quvestion. I tink da quvestion should be, "Must I choose between Love or Money?"

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Invite or Not to Invite

Question: I'm having a party that is supposed to just be work people, but I want to invite a couple of neighbors and some family, just... not all nieghbors or all family. My boyfriend says I should either invite all or none.

Opinions:
That's a good question and I was feeling like it might be time for a poll anyway.... so here it is:

President Bush

OK.... Here's how I roll......

I see this headline: "Bush asks Congress to clear way for offshore oil drilling" and I think.... What the "F"?

Didn't he see Happy Feet?

Then I'm mad... and getting madder, because now I think... what now? What more damage can he possibly try to inflict on the planet before he leaves office... I keep picturing his stupid chuckle.... his ridiculous vocabulary and wonder if he really thinks we are that stupid. http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/18/bush.offshore/index.html?eref=rss_politics)

Now, let me pause here to tell you I was already mad at the man for the crap he pulled with the 8 US Attorneys (oh I am sickened... PLEASE don't try to tell me this doesn't go all the way to the top... the CIA was being investigated by one of the fired attorney's offices... PAAALLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEE) -(for a interesting timeline: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/usa-timeline.php of these events)

Anyway, so I'm all pissed at the Bush Administration... now honestly folks, this is the first time I've been really really ashamed to call myself a Republican... and with a tear in my eye... I long... I LONG... FOR ROSS PEROT! (who if memory serves me right he dropped out for among other reasons having had his family threatened ... and interestingly enough, there were very very very few articles coming up on google about that (I looked to refresh my memory) because the media laughed at him... then I found a "conspiracy theory" blog... that had more detail... but I digress)

So, I am pissed. Infuriated. Disappointed... then pissed again, because that J-off doesn't care what I or anyone else thinks... he's just going to live his life and "rule" the country in a way that's good for him and his buddies. Kind of like the bully in High School. You just have to wait until you graduate to find out what life is like without him.

So I'm a registered Republican. AND I'm Pissed at the republicans... I like John Edwards, I hate Hillary, Obama is ok... I'm a little queasy over McCain. I don't think he is his own man, I already see him lining up the party line. ... anyway, let me get back to the point. BACK TO THE POINT.

So, I'm pissed and went to try to find one of Bushes old speeches to see if I could find where he contradicted himself... and I found President Bushes.... Home Page

FRIENDS... I'm talking about The Presidential Home Page.

I take a gander... quickly passing by the things of which I know nothing (basically everything) then I find a link to "proclamations"

According to Webster a proclamation is: Something proclaimed; specifically : an official formal public announcement

I am expecting a lot of "Hear ye, Hear ye" and all that. You know... momentous speeches and proclamations....

Now I'm over being pissed about Bush....

Now I am entranced...

and I think.

I could do this. I could work from home, writing the government proclamations... because you know what? 98% of the proclamations have something to do with a hallmark holiday. I'd just get out my little hallmark calendar, and write up a nice 3 page proclamation about whatever holiday it is that day and post it to the website.

I'm not kidding... check out the page.
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/proclamations/

What do you think?

Does the Sun Revolve?

Question: Why does the sun revolve around the earth? - anonymous question

Opinions:
Ms. Knowitall: Well, I had to look that up... because as you know I truly believe that the sun revolves around me! Imagine my surprise to find out that there are a bunch of people that believe that the earth is rotating around the sun... and NOT the sun revolving around ME!

Well, some would have you think that the earth is actually going in a straight line, but gravity from the sun (or something amounting to gravity created by its huge mass) pulls the earth out of its trajectory and warps it into running an oval course.

This is all just a theory, although scientists can prove and document the actual course of the planets, they can not prove their theories... or disprove mine, which is ... all planets and stellar object revolve around me.

Angry Mike: Dats a trick question. It don't work like dat.

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: I don't believe in Revolution. I believe in God.

Garage Sales or Garbage?

Question: I can't decide if I should have a garage sale or if I should just put all the crap out to the curb.

Opinions:
Angry Mike: Chuck it. Tink about all the time to set up the sale, then youse got to sit out there 2 or 3 days waiting while some smo paws through your stuff, no way hosay, put it out to da curb and foget about it.

Lucille the Hair Stylist: I have a garage sale every year. It's a little known fact, but the best day for a sale is Friday. So you need to advertise. Go to Craigslist, and other Free classified services. Make sure you have a ton of garage sale signs with arrows and the days of the sales... and... sigh... price everything to go. It's a garage sale, not a boutique. Just because you paid $40.00 for the shirt, doesn't mean someone else will... You need to price the clothes under $5.00 and books under $1.00. Give discounts for multiple purchases and prepare to bargain, many people that come on Friday as "professional" garage sale people.

My Opinion: As you guys know, I do a lot of selling on eBay. The big difference between eBay and a garage sale is I don't have to waste a whole weekend sitting in my driveway in the hot summer sun waiting for "customers". However, I do have to keep the stuff in my house until it sells, if I list it on eBay... so it's a crap shoot.

In my opinion, if you want to just get rid of stuff, and you were inclined to throw it out anyway, just have a 2 day garage sale. Friday and Saturday. Whatever doesn't get sold, you can just put out to the curb. AND if you want it to go, Lucille is right, make sure you priced it to sell.

Bill the Lawn Boy: I disagree, I think you should price the stuff for what you think it's worth, because you won't get the amount unless you ask for it, then if someone shows an interest you can always come down on the price.

Lucille the Hair Stylest: Hi, it's me again, I forgot, the other very very important thing... is make sure there is a price on everything. That way, people know how much a thing costs and it may actually push them into buying it, if its reasonably priced! OH, and don't forget to go to the bank and get lots of change.

Who Thinks Thongs Are Comfortable?

Question: I have always wanted to know, and am glad that I finally have this forum.... Is there anyone on this planet that thinks THONGS are comfortable?

Opinions:
Angry Mike: Foist of all... tongs are not built for comfort, they are butt-crack decoration. It's what makes a plumber butt on a young lady look more allurin. I can't imagine that ting bein too comfy, but then I ain't gotta wear one.

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Well.... I tried one once, (because you know, I prefer o-natural, if you know what I mean) ...Yeah well anyways, I figured it would be a ...compromise. So, I gotta tell ya. I think I got rope boin. It was like walking around with a wedgie. I kept feelin like I need to pick it outta my butt. OH, I hated it. I suppose, if I wore one every day I might get caluses... maybe then it wouldn't hurt.

Local Gum Chewing, Thong Wearing Teenager: Yeah... (chew chew snap) everyone wears one, you get used to the wedgie feeling 'cause it's too cool and sexy. My boyfriend (chew chew snap) he keeps trying to play the strap like it's a guitar or something. (chew chew snap) It's like so annoying. But whatta ya gonna do? All the pants are so low that I have to either wear a thong or nothing at all, and like.. (chew chew snap) I'm not going to wear nothing.

Are there Aliens?

Question: Do Aliens, you know, Extraterrestrial Aliens exist?

Opinions:
Angry Mike: Damn Straight

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Oh Sure Honey, and some of dem have come inta my dina.

Sigmund Fraud: Bery Interesting, how vould you feeeeel if zay do exissst?

Random Dude Walking Dog: Ah OK, (laugh) yeah, sure I think they exist but not on any planet we are ever going to reach... or maybe they existed and are now extinct on the closer planets. I guess I don't think we are going to get too far out of our solar system. Yeah, ok... well have a nice morning.

Voice Mail Better than Real Person? You Decide

Question: Why can't I stop myself from chatting on peoples answering machines and voice mail as if I were talking to a real person?

Opinions:
Sigmund Fraud: Vell, it vould seem dat you have a deeply surrrrrrpresst need to hear yourself talk or perhaps your subconcious mind perceives da beep of de voice mail or anzering machine as a green flag dus allowing itself the luxury of freedom to tink.

Angry Mike: Get some friends! Maybe if you weren't such a kook, your friends would pick up the phone and answer da calls, ya FREAK! Youse know they are home, just waiting for you to STOP TALKING TO THEIR ANSWERING MACHINE!

Bernadette, the North Jersey Waitress: Aw Darlin, I knows what you mean. Don'tcha lissen to Angry Mike. I do somes of my best thinking while I'm talking on my girlfriends voice mail. Youse just reminded me, I need to give her a ring, I can't rememba the last time I actually spoke ta her.

Global Warming? .

Question: Why is it so f'ing hot?

Opinions:

Angry Mike: It's summer, you ignoramus.

Home Weatherman: First let me say it's a real treat to be asked this particular question especially since I was lampooned on a previous entry... but I guess it just goes to show how important people like me are in the big pic... cough... choking... get your hand.... off my throat... cough cough... gag..... (whisper whisper whisper) ... ah hemmmm ok, I'm back, and I agree that the weather should be left up to trained professionals. However, in my untrained and .... usually humble opinion, it is this hot due to global warming, which is caused by the greenhouse effect, which is a naturally occurring phenomena that keeps our planet warm and habitable. The man-made greenhouse affects may be adding to the greenhouse "blanket" and keeping too much infrared radiation in the atmosphere and that is heating up the planet more than usual. (psst watch Al Gore's Movie Trailer... it's got Dopler! http://www.climatecrisis.net/trailer/) cough cough So, that's my opinion.

Home Weatherman & Meteorologist

Dear Reader:

This is one of those entries, where my need to impart my opinion has overcome my patience to wait for the quesiton. I have, in fact, taken it upon myself to decide to opine a topic which I know many will realize, upon reflection, was worthy of my time.

I, like many of you, rely on www.weather.com or www.weatherbug.com to imbue their professional weather opinion. I, like many of you, believe (as much as any weather related forecast can be believed) what they tell me... with a rough, "can't-believe-the-weatherman" frame of mind.

What I can't stand. What I just can't abide.... is the person that .... goes from the 3 day forecast.... to the DOPLER RADAR, which shows a 30 minute stretch of storm front... and THEN THEY PROCEED TO EXTRAPOLATE THE AFFECTS ON OUR LOCAL WEATHER!

COME ON.... if the trained professionals, who provide me with the hour by hour forecast, aren't going to get it correct.... How the F ... (deep breath) ..... I mean... for the love of everything holy, the freaking websites let you put in your zip code! YOUR ZIP CODE!!!!!

In an effort to understand why someone would prefer to see the northern hemisphere and the various shades of swirling masses of color moving across the planet.... as opposed to a forecast specifically provided for your ZIP CODE.... I go to my "Making and Using your own Weather Station" book, by Beulah Tannenbaum and Harold E. Tannenbaum

(side note: as funny as those names are.... and as funny as it sounds that I have this book... I actually have this book and those are the actual authors names.)

I'm not going to read any of the book, I'm just going to look at the chapter headings and see if there is any clue as to what would drive... the Home Weatherman.

Chapter One: Weather around the World
Chapter Two: Air is Real
Chapter Three: Hot Air, Cold Air
Chapter Four: Moisture in the Air
Chapter Five: Winds and Clouds
Chapter Six: Storms
Chapter Seven: Recording and Predicting the Weather

Well I think that pretty much covers it... and explains it all.

In closing, I say to you Home Weatherman...., the 2 hour nice weather window between the isolated thunderstorms tomorrow that you anticipate based on your indepth analysis and tracking of the available dopler clips may or may not occur.... but right now, the sun is shining... so MOW THE LAWN TODAY!

And all that is just my opinion.

Work from Home Scam or Legitimate Job

Question: I have been checking out several work from home opportunities and I found a lot that want me to sign up and pay a fee to receive the list of jobs. Any ideas where I can find the best opportunities

Opinions:
Angry Mike: yeah, click here, send me $39.99 and I'll send ya a list... stupid.

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: Aw honey, don'tcha know... if you have to spend money, it aint a real opportunity. Those people askin for the cash are the ones that will make the dough. My girlfriend is a Medical Transcriptionist and she makes about $11.00/hr working from home, but it's hard hard hard. Youse got to know the Doctor lingo and spell all the medical words right... it aint easy.

Sal the Copier Salesman: Start a porn site, ha ha just kidding, see that's my incredibly funny humor coming through, my customers love me. but seriously, if you have something that people want, or even if they don't want it, if you think they should want it, you just need to let them know you have it... then make sure they know they want it... then make them pay to get it. Like copiers.

Help with Rising Fuel Prices

Question: I heard that there was a program in NJ to help people pay the heating bill, is that true?

Opinions:
Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress: You are right as rain, sweet'art. Go to http://www.njshares.org/ . I haven't been able to get there, but my friend told me that she applied and after a little while got notified that she qualified and they sent a nice little check to the fuel company on her behalf. You have to apply in person.

Bradgelina didn't have the twins?

Question: Where do I send the baby gifts for the Brad and Angela's new twins.

Opinions:
Angry Mike: News Flash, stupid, it was a hoax. The only thing sadder than you actually buying gifts for the supa mega stars new kiddies, is the fact that the associated press (the news service that we have relied upon for years to provide breaking news all over the world) would print something they picked up from E.T. and call it news. pisses me off.

What is Twitter?

Question: What is Twitter or better yet exactly what is the purpose of a Micro Blog? -signed Darrell

My Opinion: Twitter is yet another tool created by the under 27 year old work force, to waste time during working hours. Add this to your collection of "social networking" items.

or..... perhaps.... its.....

an insidious method for the government to track our every movement with us voluntarily providing them with the information of ... "what we are doing right now"

If I may go off on an opinionated tangent for a moment.....
Twitter may be an interesting tool for the CIA to use to track the activity of known terrorists... or perhaps the DEA to track the activity of known Drug Dealers and Drug Lords... here are the entries I envision:

Micki2fingers: Going to the docks to buy Vinnie new shoes

TonyBB: Leaving Vinnie's place now, he aint' home

LouLou: I got him meetcha at da docks

TonnyBB: where'd you pick him up?

LouLou: At the footlocker in the Short Hills Mall

Micki2fingers: from footlocker to davy jones locker LOL

What is the Matrix - My Opinion

Question: What is the Matrix? -signed More People then we want to know

Opinion: That's a good question.
I believe the word "Matrix" is derived from the word "May" which in the latin is a polite way to ask for something; and the word "trix" which in latin means, "fruit cereal with a silly rabbit".

Literally the Matrix means, "May I have the fruit cereal with the silly rabbit."

Today, (June 4, 2008) the meaning of the word Matrix looks more closely at the existence of the silly rabbit, the possibility of the silly rabbit's existence and our awareness of the silly rabbit.

I believe research into the shroud of Duran Duran supports this theory.

Beer or Tylenol - My Opinion

Question - What is better Beer or Tylenol? - Big Mike in Boise

Random Opinion from some guy at the Elk's Lodge - Both, of course and they must be rotated properly.

Automatic Notification

NOW, you can receive an email each time this blog is updated. Simply email opine@getmyo.com from the email address where you would like to get the email.... and we will do the rest!

Have Fun!

Sewer Worker Slaves in Sandals

Question1: "How can I keep between my toes clean while working in the sewer in my flipflops? I do have "cleaner" dog that does the job when I get home after a logn day in the shite. She can't wait to get his tongue in there to get the slime and sometimes juicy chunks. " - Submitted by Stu Pitt

Angry Mike Answers: Whydaya gat ta waste my time wit such a screw ballz question. Put on shoes stupid and give the dog some Alpo, you FREAK!

Bernadette the North Jersey Waitress Answers: Honey, witch ya doin? Workin in the sewa with sandals... not even leatha. OH... honey, youse can't be serious. And about the dog, Dog's like ta lick, right? Your dog like toes, good for him... put some cheese in ther... or peanut butta... Hey that reminds me of this joke....

Bill the 43 year old Lawn Boy: Wow dude, your dog sounds awesome. Definitely let it hook you up with clean toes. If it likes it, go for it... and if you get clean feet... does it really matter how or why?

Go Ahead and Ask Away

This is where your question or statement will go... and my opinion will follow.